The Two Faces of Grief

  • The Two Faces of Grief   –

Working with grief everyday I am privileged to notice the two faces of grief. The better known and talked about face is the sad, scared, exhausted face. Most people refer to this face as the roller coaster. The ups and downs of changed feelings, emotions, behaviours, thoughts, beliefs and connections.

The second face, is not often witnessed in Hollywood movies or spoken about at family gatherings. The second face is seen on reflection and is the face of growth. Growth in self awareness. A new awareness of what matters most, what matters to me and what matters to others. A growth in endurance, in adaptation, flexibility and self care. The butterfly image is often used to personify this metamorphic change.

Staying connected to the real you matters. In fact, in grief work we know it is a critical first step in therapy, even if the real you is cranky, tired, scared, bewildered and fuzzy brained.  Even if the real you isn’t eating and sleeping as you one did. Even if the real you feels overwhelmed by the competing demands of life.

It is so important that you give yourself time to care for you, to allow yourself to feel, to allow yourself to be real and human and to grieve. Only then can you notice that you have not one face but two and you are growing and changing and achieving things you might never have noticed or thought possible.

Copyrights @Mary Bryant 2020

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